The Price of Ignorance
by Lynx Tiger
Summary: I joined up the NPA because I knew something was wrong with Light's death. Something just didn't click. Now I'm on a case with L, and I'm going to do everything I can get the famous detective to tell me the truth. No matter what.
1. A Black Sheep In A Happy Flock

**Lynx: Thank you Practically Venomous for betaing the first chapter! **

Chapter One: Black Sheep in a Happy Flock

Nothing is as it seems. I learned this when I was a young college student, working hard to get my degree in fashion design when I was kidnapped by a man named Mello. I was tied to a chair with no ability to move and no way to plead for my life. Several times I was assaulted and nearly raped. Mello wasn't an idiot; when he found out about the attacks…he got scary. When I say scary, I mean I had blood all over me and I watched them die from a gun in his hand, smoke coming from the nozzle. I was so scared to respond to my father when he asked me for the time. I knew that once I answered him, my voice would be lost forever.

Indeed it was. Until my twenty-first ceremony, I was in a wheelchair and unresponsive due to the nightmares that plagued me every time I closed my eyes. I was always screaming, crying, begging, until my father or my mother went into my room to calm me down. Sometimes, if Light was around, he'd do the same thing. He would hold me tighter, as if he were guilty of some crime. When the nightmares went away with help from medication, I was a doll. I didn't respond, I didn't act, I didn't talk. I was pretty. I was beautiful. I was broken and shattered beyond repair.

After I got better, I dropped out of college and chose a new path without my mother's knowledge. Why did I do something like this? Because something was wrong. I knew it in my heart and I could feel it tugging at my subconscious. Mastuda was the reason for this. He and Aizawa had an excuse for my brother's death. I knew it when I was in a post-traumatic state and when I was awoken from it. It just didn't seem right. Nothing that they said matched anything that I knew my brother was.

Kira could kill with a name and a face. The second Kira could kill with just a face. This much I found out just by watching the news and paying attention to Light when he was on the case. It was confidential, but eavesdropping had been my sport. Light wouldn't have been so careless to have his name released, but he was in articles. His picture was everywhere in the yearbooks. He wasn't safe…and he was playing a dangerous game with a criminal.

But even if I rationalize it like that, it still didn't make any sense. Light was killed by a heart attack, but something just told me that the story wasn't right. Something wasn't right. So, what do I do to find out?

Simple. I dropped out of college to go into the police academy. With my new-found focus, I went up the ranks as quick as lightening. Some compared me to Light, but I knew I would never be able to surpass my older brother. I would always remain in his shadow. I joined up as a detective the minute it was offered to me and now I'm in the field.

It raised questions. Mastuda was worried that I would suddenly go back into PTSD. Aizawa was afraid of what my father and brother would say if they knew what I was doing. Mogi didn't care, and neither did Ide. I didn't bother to answer them. My skills were enough to satisfy them for the time being, but it only raised more questions to me. I knew Mastuda wasn't just worried about my PTSD, he was worried about what I would find out in the Kira case that had been closed for a good fifteen years. Of course, no one would take him seriously, but I knew that the question remained in everyone's mind.

I worked my ass off to say the least, to get up to where I am. Now, I'm standing in the meeting room, silence thick as a wool blanket. The screen behind Chief Aizawa is black, but with everyone's breath held, I knew they were waiting for something to turn on.

A white screen appeared and a gothic letter L appeared. I remember this letter. It taunted Kira and won after few years of battle. It was the number one detective in the world. L, himself. However, his face was hidden behind the white screen and the voice was different, electronic.

"Good evening," The voice said. "I see that we have a new detective joining us."

"Yes," Yatsomo answered. "This is Yagami Sayu."

L went silent. Everyone did. Yagami was like a curse word. No one reprimanded the use, but it was obvious that no one took the name lightly. "I hear that you are good as your brother was, Ms. Yagami."

Why did that sound so wrong? I didn't understand, but I knew L must feel guilty about something. This whole task force felt guilty about something. What though? What could it possibly be? "I'm not a genius like Light was, but I do my best, L."

"Good." The voice sounded amused, but how am I to know? It's all jumbled in the electronic feed. "We can use you all for this new case that I have been following for the past three years."

"New case?"

"I believe that you all are familiar with this term, Heart attack on a platter.' The saying usually is implied to mean unhealthily food that will give heart attacks. Well…we've been finding hearts of victims on plates that are always on the front-step of the victim's family's households. The first case of this started in Germany, then it moved all the way down to Asia. Now it's in Japan. I'm sure you have been investigating this before I even came along, is this true?"

"Half of us have been," Aizawa explained. Half meaning that I wasn't apart of it. Everyone else? Most likely they had been looking at pictures, asking questions; trying to keep me off of the playing field. It was like they were worried that this would trigger an reaction that would send me back into PTSD. It was a risk I took every single day, but whoever appreciates that? No one. It's just another scare.

"I see," the voice answered. I wonder if he was displeased with the fact that not the whole team had been working on this case. "Ms. Yagami, are you on this case currently?"

"No, I am not." I answered.

"And why is that?"

"Fear; I suppose."

"Are you scared?"

"No."

"Then, what do you mean by fear?"

L was sure nosy. I paused. I didn't want to get the task force in trouble. I also didn't want to give L the wrong impression. I shook my head. "I can't say."

"You recovered from a kidnapping that involved dealing in a notebook. A notebook that can kill." This was news to me. I didn't even know that Dad had been dealing a Death Note. For all I knew, it was a notebook that anyone could just get at a convince store. Something began to tell me that what L just said wasn't on accident. This was a clue; a simple, valuable clue, and everyone in the room knew it from the looks on their faces. "You have PSTD, don't you Ms. Yagami?"

"Yes, I do." There was no need for me to lie. He probably already knew how many gory, angst-ridden, and heartbreaking cases I had to solve. He also most likely knew that I was here for a reason, not because of my interests. This wasn't a job I'd do for pleasure.

The voice fell silent. Aizawa coughed, "We've been keeping her away from cases that involve anything that might send a trigger that tells her to break down. If she breaks down again, we don't know if she'll even recover this time around."

"Caution is necessary, but too much of it will leave a person with no self-value and they will not understand what they can do. A parent that always says no to a child will make that child believe that they can't do anything at all because the answer is always no," L responded. "I've seen her records and I know how many cases she's solved. Why isn't she on this one, exactly?"

No one answered. No one wanted to admit that anything having to do with hearts was immediately considered too dangerous for me. Anything that had high amounts of gore was also considered too much. But certain people let me through when the task force wasn't around so I could take a better, thorough look through the victim's area. At least I found things a lot quicker than they did and usually helped with the suspect listings. Sadly, computer skills were beyond my capability. I was horrible with hacking and I screw up royally when I have to do something on a computer. Basic searches and surfing I can do. Anything beyond that was gibberish to me.

Mastuda coughed, "We didn't want her to break."

"I see. Ms. Yagami, do you think you'd be able to handle this case if it were assigned to you? At least you would be able to handle it as long as you had help? A partner?" L asked.

"Yes." I answered. "I'll do my best to solve the case using any means you think is right, L."

"Very well," L answered. "I will help you with this case. Send me all the evidence that you have so I can make sure that it's not a copycat. Also, I would like reports on the victims' deaths and positions of how they died. Photographs would be a great help. Well then." The screen went black.


	2. Percentages Never Got Anywhere

**Lynx Tiger: Thank you Practically Venomous for betaing this chapter. **

**Edit: I'm sorry that my chapter didn't come up. I don't know what happened. Here's the chapter, enjoy. I'm sorry for the confusion  
**

Chapter Two: Percentages Never Got Anywhere

We found everything L had asked for and had Watari send it to him. We waited until L deducted whatever probability the killer was hiding, who he was going to attack, and where. I couldn't deny that I was bored, but it would be rude to open a book and look through it when scattered papers and files were called to my attention. None of us could just leave it to L. All of us had to pitch in to help, because teams are needed for success in figuring out who the killer was and why he would do such monstrous crimes.

0.44 homicides have happened. Most were from knives or from some other weapon, since guns are still not legalized in the country. I'm sure L would disagree. There are ways to get guns from a black market. I frowned as I looked over the papers before me. I couldn't rationalize what made this killer act. He didn't have a range of age he specified like most criminals, nor did he seem to care about gender. Sex was out of the question, he hasn't raped a victim post-mortem or before. The killer always seemed to have a good pattern…so I suppose that's one thing to think about. From the pictures, he stabs the person over and over again, no slashes, but deep gashes. Some shallower than others. I sighed as I pushed it away and rubbed my forehead.

"Stressed?" Matsuada walked up to me. In his hand was the caffeine I probably needed for the headache to go away. I smiled at him and took it. His attention was caught by one of the pictures I was looking at. He freezed. I knew he was doubting my abilities to handle myself, to care for myself, but he'd never say anything. The minute I entered the building, he denied all of my problems. However, he doesn't act like they all disappeared. "It's gruesome."

"I don't understand criminals. That probably is what keeps me down in the ranks," I told him as my hands immediately were warmed my the styrofoam cup. I placed it carefully away from the pictures and paperwork. The last thing I want is to have stains on perfectly well typed out reports and coffee spilled all over the pictures. I'm not going to drink until I can put all of these things away.

"It's sometimes best not to understand them," Mastuda said, acting regretful. I took heed of this immediately. His eyes were suddenly sad and his body became slightly slumped. I wondered what he was thinking about, who he was thinking about. Just like a flash of lightening, his mood changes and his regret evaporates like water. "I'll figure it out."

"How long can you rely on a single letter to help us?" I asked. Sure, he helped on the Kira case, but he has to be old now. "He's going to die and we're going to be left on a lurch if we rely on him too much."

His eyes were wide but then they turned back to normal. I guess he hadn't thought of it. Maybe sometimes it's hard not to take it for granted. After all, he saw Kira's face and survived the battle long enough to put him behind bars. Now he's after different cases, solving them on demand.

We don't talk. He leaves and I'm back to my thinking process. As I stare at these pictures. Besides the stab wounds, I try to figure out what connects them all together. From profiles and family interviews, all I managed to gather was that each victim managed their own business. Men tended to be much older than the women and the women had more bodies than the men side did. Could it be that he didn't like independence? Or was there something else going on? Could the men be just…accidental deaths? People at the wrong place at the wrong time? Also, another thing connecting them was that they were always killed in front or nearby a shop they owned.

I frowned deeply. This was getting confusing. Just what was this person's motive? Was it a message of some sort? I'm almost thankful when the white screen pops up and L's gothic logo appears.

"It appears that these killings are messages to their real victims," L stated coolly.

Aizawa and Mogi gave each other a look. It was as if they were both remembering something. Since I had been curious about serial killers, I had looked a few up and studied them. The only killer that came to my mind with bodies as hidden messages was the D.C Area Sniper. John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo. Ten people just to hide that they were going to kill the real victim. John's wife. The poor thing.

"I noticed that they are all independent workers," I said, I'm sure I'm stating the obvious."They all have been killed in front of their shops. It could be another message."

"My thoughts exactly Ms. Yagami," L responded. "However age and gender seems varied. It appears that whoever this killer is, they are trying to cover up the gender of their victim."

"Someone's been doing their homework," Aizawa said as he looks through the reports.

"Also I have noticed that the killings have stopped for three weeks now. A longer period rest time than normal." L replied.

"Could it be he knows you're on the case?" I asked, still feeling like I'm not contributing anything to the case. I wonder if this is how Mastuda feels when people look at him like he's an idiot.

"I think he's getting closer to the victim and doesn't want to frighten her out of her routine," L replied. "Especially since we warned the public of the murderer."

"He's waiting for the all-clear," I mused aloud. "It's calm before the storm. I'm sure he's going to go on a very big spree when he finds out it's clear."

"I'm almost certain he's making a list of victims," L concluded. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it's why he's biding his time."

"He's scouring the area for good killing places since it's always crowded," Aizawa said slowly. "This is like a challenge for him."

"Yes," L said curtly. "Now that we have the basics, I'm going to see what else could be hidden in the pictures. I will update you when I discover anything new. Keep on a lookout for anything suspicious. Well then." The screen went blank again.

And for some odd reason, I had a feeling of danger. I only felt this feeling once before, and that was when I was kidnapped into a truck with Mello. I'm hoping that this killer wouldn't change plans and go after girls exclusively. Go after girls or go after people that don't have independent jobs.

For if he did that, we'd lose trail of him big time. I wanted him caught just as much as I wanted my conscious about my brother cleared. He wasn't someone I was going to let get away.

I'm pretty sure L feels the same way.


	3. Fear and Frusteration

**Lynx Tiger: Thank you for the wonderful reviews I've been receiving! I never thought my story would have so much! Also, thank you to the wonderful Practically Venomous for betaing this story! **

Chapter Three: Fear and Frustration

I turned the key and walked through my dark apartment. I flipped on the hallway switch as I took off my shoes. I looked at the shadows that hid my apartment. My heart was racing. My body was starting to sweat. I closed my eyes, counted to ten and opened them up again. A shape was formed in the darkness. I gripped tightly on the doorknob. Everything in my body was telling me to run; to run as fast as I could. I wanted to scream, but it was stuck in my throat. It was as if my mouth had been duct-taped shut. Why did I turn off the lights? I knew it was going to trigger this. But, right now, my rational mind was out of whack. I couldn't stay here. The light was too small, it wouldn't defeat this. And the silence. The silence was deafening! Suddenly the T.V flickered on and some of the shadows stayed away. They made funny shapes on the walls, but none that told me that they were people.

I didn't realize I had slipped to the floor. I didn't even think that I was going to react this way. Darkness, silence, they were all things that I knew would trigger what I had. I tried my best to keep it away. I was thankful that my T.V turned on. It wasn't a real T.V, but a false one to make buglers think twice about robbing my place. My heart wouldn't stop hammering and right when I reached the switch, a gunshot rang through my mind. My hand froze from three centimeters away from it. I could hear, I could feel, everything that Mello had done to me. Killing his men that tried to rape me; splattering their impure blood on to my body, staining my shoes and worse of all, my face. I touched where I memorized the bloodsplatter. I looked down and I stared at it. There wasn't any blood, even though I could feel it. I could feel it so clearly.

I had to stop. I had to think. I helped L today. I stared at pictures that normally would cause me to recoil. I went to crime scenes where the smell of blood set off dreams I would rather forget, flashbacks I wish would be left in my memories. I stood in doorways, seeing the crime play out. I go to bed at night and I cry for the murdered and the murderer themselves. Why do I cry for the murderer? Even I don't even know it. But…for some reason, I know it has to do with Mello. I turned the lights on. The darkness retreats to the kitchen. I haven't eaten, but I have skipped meals just as I've skipped sleeping. I would rather wait till morning, than to try to fight the darkness. Already I'm tired. I just want to sleep.

But I know that I won't be able to. My therapist keeps telling me that I should. It's healthy. What's healthy about dreaming the same night over and over and over again? If I can avoid it, I will. I left my house. I left my friends. I never visited Light's or my dad's grave. How could I? How could I visit them when I know deep down that my dad died a worthless death and my brother died…from what? What did he truly die from? They didn't allow an open casket. He was buried without any of us looking at his face. My mother wept and tried to explain. But, I was a doll. I wasn't in her world, I was in my own. I stayed awake, I recovered enough to stand. I stayed in my mind for too long.

I sat down on my couch and I turned off the fake T.V and looked at the real one. It was off. Its black screen was beckoning, but it didn't provoke anything. I felt myself turn around to face the kitchen. I quickly stopped. There was nothing to see. It was a wave of darkness, the same thing that always haunts me. I felt myself slide into the couch, as if the back of it could be a wall. The T.V screen thankfully showed the whole kitchen, and the bit of the hallway. Besides the T.V was a small hallway that would lead to a bedroom on the left, a bathroom second door down from the right, a closet in the middle, and a second bedroom, my office. I should go in there. I could see light flooding from it. Quickly I made my escape. I didn't dare close the door all the way. I didn't want to be surprised if someone came into my room. Irrational, but rational.

I looked at my office. It was dirty beyond belief. I could hear Light scolding me about my lack of organization. The thought made me smile, but what I remembered of Light made me suddenly frown. Light was a genius, a perfect Sherlock Holmes. The dream detective everyone wanted to be. If Light worked with L and got killed, how did the two geniuses fail, and why did the death seem so out of place.

I sighed. You may think that this office was for my cases. It was, but hidden in my drawers, notebooks in code, and files mixed up so no one could guess, I had the Kira case. I managed to steal it when I was studying closed cases. Of course, the original is back in it's place. All the documents and files and notes I have were copied. I made them, I didn't doctor them, but I could tell that there were lots of things missing.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out a file. L and Kira. The battle between good and evil. It's hard to believe that I'm thinking Light was Kira. That my dear, genius of a brother was a serial killer. But, I've been in the work, I have fresh eyes. I'm not easily deceived as I once was. Something about the guess work and L's reports didn't fit with the L that we were working with now. L went in perfectly up until November 5th. The reports changed drastically to little to none. Simple sentences, detailed reports that ludicrously explained that he was no further in catching Kira and was running out of resources…then the files began to mix with a character called N. N…L…N…something didn't make sense.

I placed my hand against my head. I wasn't a great detective. My mind couldn't process something difficult. If L saw this, he would say that someone tampered with the files. I would say, "It wasn't me." He may say it was, just because I had the files, or he'd accuse Light. Light…I knew I wouldn't say a word. If I had to, it would be to defend him. How could I do something like that? Well, I wonder if it would. I changed. Everyone's changed. I wouldn't be surprised if N turned out to be L. Maybe a new L? It would make sense. The reports were written very differently. I compared them. His words, his own actions, didn't define L.

So, I had to wonder. Was N L's successor? Or was he L's impostor? I would go with successor, judging from how L's reports were too long to even begin to translate if he was getting closer or farther away from Kira. N and L both wrote truthfully in their statements. So, if I'm right…then who was the impostor? I shudder to think…it might have been Light.

No one bothered me today at work. Everyone's trying so hard to find the killer that has arrived in Japan. The Japanese made up a cute nickname for him. The serial killer's title is called the Heartbreaker. Stupid, silly, but so was Kira and that translated to Killer. Killer, Heartbreaker, they were titles given to men that hid in the shadows. It was up to the police to unmask them.

I suppose no one would ever touch Kira's legacy. He has a cult. The Heartbreaker isn't anything more than a killer running around with a knife. I shouldn't think this, I shouldn't even be saying it to myself. He is a person. Demented and tainted. Something must have went wrong for him to turn like this. Common cases of revenge, child abuse, and neglect could change a person drastically. If people knew how much, I wonder if the world would change. I scoffed, Mastuda jumped and looked at me worriedly. Kira had already tried. He tried so hard and he failed. He was dead….or gone…no one really knows what happened to him. The reports say he's jailed, but…where?

"Sayu?" Mastuda came up my desk. "Is the case getting to you?"

"It's frustrating. I don't understand. He leaves a perfect trail, so why can't we catch him?" I rubbed my forehead as I tossed a picture aside. The minute I do that, L appears on the screen. Everyone seemed to be tense. I suppose L just doesn't spontaneously appear without someone to announce that they're ready.

"I have received information that indicates that the first Japanese kill has happened. Her name was Momoko Hayashi. She worked at a craft store. She was found in a bin as the trash was being dumped. Her heart is on a plate and currently sitting outside her fiancee's apartment."

Everyone sighed, this wasn't a good sign. Something nagged at me as I recalled something about how the case started in Germany and went down to Asia. Why did it skip France and anywhere near where Germany was? Why did it go from one country to a different one, all the way to us? I tapped my fingers. He was following something. The real target must already know what these murders mean. To find the killer, we would have to find the victim. I wanted to do anything, scream, cry, shout. Something. I wanted to do something.

"We will go investigate the crime scenes," Aizawa said as he stood up.

"Please wait a moment," L said, his voice still being scrambled up by a machine, "For it isn't his usual M.O."

"I don't understand." Aizawa looked at the screen blankly. "Not his usual M.O?"

"The woman didn't own the craft store, and she was found only five feet away from her apartments when usually the killer leaves his victims where they lay. This leads me to believe that his target may enjoy crafts, or he was feeling blood thirsty. It has been the longest he's ever waited," L replied.

A needle could be dropped and everyone would count the seconds until you could hear the tiniest clink. It was that still, that silent. It was too silent. I gripped onto myself. I already had my breakdown last night. I didn't need for it to happen at work. If it did, I would never be trusted with any cases ever again! I worked way too damn hard for it. I suffered embarrassment for random flashbacks back at the academy, suffered humiliation from my partner when I was a working police officer, climbing up the damn ranks. I would NOT suffer again. Not now! Not in front of L!

I had to thank the lords above when Mastuda was the one who broke the ice, "So, you're thinking that he's about to break."

"I would hope so, but I wouldn't dare assume it," L replied. "If he was going to break, he would let himself out in the open. It took a lot of bravery to do this crime without being noticed. No witnesses, no anything."

"And the streets are always filled," Ide thought aloud.

"You would think that there would be a witness," Mastuda finished off.

L didn't speak for a while before saying quietly, "It is my belief that he is about to do more that will go against his M.O. Be careful everyone and be on the lookout for anything strange. I will do the same. Well then." The screen went blank.

Be careful….as if I needed more on my plate.


	4. Suspcions and Hunches

**Lynx: Thank you to all of my reviewers who have read the story, and to people that haven't reviewed yet still read the story! Also thanks to Practically Venomous for betaing the story!**

Chapter Four: Suspicions and Hunches

On a hunch, I left the building with a strong, confident stride. Matsuda trailed behind me like a puppy, questioning where we were headed. My first idea was to get to the craft store. She worked there, but didn't own it. If that was the case then who did and why was her body found in a dumpster instead of where it normally was; In front or inside the store itself? Maybe the man had gone into the store, looking for something that most men wouldn't, and used it as an excuse to seek out his next victim. I was more than likely jumping off the deep end with my theory. That's why I left Matsuda in the dark. I don't even know why he's following me, but I can't say I'm not happy. I wouldn't be doing this alone if he hadn't showed up. I just wasn't expecting him to take the offer.

Matsuda and I have a complicated relationship. He could read me like a book back when I was younger and naive of the world. I could-and still can-read him and not even have to say a word about my thoughts or his. The answer to my questions are always in his face. Which was the reason why I believed that my brother was dead for a reason.

"The crime scene isn't far from here. Why are you going to check it out?" Matsuda asked.

I decided to just be vague. "I'm not going to the crime scene. I have a hunch that our clue lies elsewhere."

"Did Near tell you this?"

Slip of the tongue. Near. L's successor. I turned my head around to my shoulder and Matsuda had a horror-stricken look on his face. I inwardly smiled. "L you mean?" I asked. "I'm sure that Near isn't a name."

"Right." Matsuda looked relieved. I'm glad. But I know now that he was going to be extra careful with that tongue of his. I know him. All the time, he deemed himself my protector when I started out as a rookie. Hell, I'm still a rookie. And he's my babysitter. I guess I can't fault him. I can't fault anyone who sees me as a breakable doll. I am one, already putting the pieces back where they came from, but I could easily break again. I already almost have.

I turned my head around, looking straight. I wonder what my father would think of me being a detective. Oh I'm sure he's rolling around in his grave with worry. I was supposed to be the normal one. The one out of danger. The one that was supposed to be normal.

I blame Mello for changing me, but I should also thank him. It's really too bad that I don't know what happened to him. I do know what happened to his friend. I know where he was buried and I go to his grave often, I don't know why. I guess I feel for him. "Do you know where she worked?" I asked.

"The victim?" Matsuda asked, he had been in his own thoughts too. "She worked at some craft store called Sewing Hearts."

"Sewing Hearts, huh?" Heartbreaker, Sewing Hearts. Did all the places that had an owner die have names that ended with hearts? Or was this just a eerie coincidence? I brushed it aside. Surely N, or L, would have noticed something like this already. Right now, I've got to find out about the victim. "Do you know the owner?"

"Not on me," Matsuda answered.

I wanted to scream. I should have taken my notebook or something. It had all of the information. And I was a complete idiot to think I could rely on Matsuda to remember his. Then again, I couldn't blame him. He didn't know what my plans were, and even if he did I was sure he was going to try to stop me. He always tries. He always fails, but he never gives up hope that I'll back down one day.

"That's okay," I said, "We'll just ask them when we get there; arrange an interview, maybe talk to the worker that's there, and leave peacefully." At least it was damage control and who knows? I might find something while I'm snooping around.

"Okay," Matsuda agreed.

Sewing Hearts was as girly as a craft-store could get. The exterior was painted a bright pink and had streamers that glittered 'Welcome' in red lettering. There was dolls sitting in the window's display, obviously showing off knitted outfits and crochet hats and mittens. I pushed opened the glass door and glanced around.

On one shelf, to the far left, there was nothing but beads of every kind. Seed beads, large beads, medium sized, all sorts. There were rows for plastic, glass, bone and other categories I didn't feel like reading. The second row was nothing but drawing materials and had coloring books for younger children. Third row had unpainted statues and also had modeling clay. There were paints and there were books that were close to the end of the shelf. Fourth row was yarn and fifth row was just accessories for random things.

The cash register was in the back. It was a good idea. That would make people wander in here and look at stuff. That meant that this place was run by an excellent business woman or man, depending on who it was that owned the building. I walked past the customers, who quickly moved aside, and walked up to the cash register.

Below the cash register was a glass display case that had already created trinkets that could be bought instead of made. I was outraged by the prices, but I wasn't here to buy. There goes my theory about a good business person. Apparently the guy or girl had too much pride. I mentally slapped myself and got my head into gear. I showed my badge to the woman that was managing the store. "I'm Detective

Yagami and this is my partner Detective Matsuda. I'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind?"

"Is it about the murder of one of our co-workers?" The girl asked snobbishly.

I nodded.

"Then I have nothing to say to you."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"The manager made all of us promise that we wouldn't talk to the bacon," The girl answered. Bacon? There's a new nickname for the police. I guess po-po didn't get very far in the cool rankings. "So we're not talking."

"That's unfortunate," I answered. "Do you have a lawyer?"

"Please leave," The girl replied, using a book she was reading as a pointer to the door. "You know the way out."

"I would like to arrange an interview with your manager then, if you don't mind," I said.

Instantly there was a change. Her cheeks became faded of color and her eyes were wide. I recognized immediately that she was afraid. What was she afraid of? Matsuda decided to take over. "Is that alright with you?"

"I'm…I'm…" She looked behind her, as if she was going to find a rescuer waiting. Instead she found a pretty white wall. She turned back and swallowed. "I'll talk."

"Why didn't you want to talk before?" Matsuda asked. "Were you lying about the manager telling you not to talk?"

"I hate dealing with the police. I get it enough," She complained. "I hate talking to detectives because the minute I open my mouth, I'm a suspect."

"I have to admit you're acting pretty suspicious. Wanna tell us the story? Down in the station if you want to feel comfortable." I was lying. The station being comfortable was saying that prison was a playhouse. She knew I was lying too. Her eyes narrowed. I think she also knew that I was subtly mocking her. I should let Matsuda handle this one. I haven't talked to my own gender in a long time.

"I'll tell you," She sighed and launched into an explanation.


	5. Naivety

_**Lynx Tiger: **_**Thank you for your patience my fellow readers. I had gotten into a writer's block and had placed this on hiatus until I managed to come up with some ideas. Thank you for supporting me as I continue to write. As always, Thank you Practically Venomous for beta-ing this chapter. **

**_I do not own Death Note nor any of the characters. I do own my OCs that are mentioned, created, and named._**

Chapter Five: Naivety

She was naive. It was obvious that the manager was into drug dealing. He always carried a black suitcase around with him and took more breaks than was necessary. The backdoor lead to an alleyway; just a few blocks down the victim had caught the manager dealing. They had an argument when they thought she was stocking shelves. They didn't know that she had been listening. Why she was so naïve? She didn't think things through. Maybe it wasn't naivety, but ignorance. Maybe not even that, but just the sheer fact that she didn't care.

Her co-worker's dead and now she carries the burden of knowing that it might be him. The manager hasn't been in for a week, maybe longer than that. It makes me wonder what he's doing or who he's with. Could this be not just one killer but many? So many people once believed that Kira was a mass group of killers…that strangely could kill just by heart attacks, until it was proven that only one person could do it.

One person. I only know of one person that was smart enough to pull that off. I doubt the manager could be that smart. Matsuda's fidgeting beside me as we walk down the alleyways. I think he's wondering why I'm so silent, what I'm thinking. No, I know he's wondering these things, but is too afraid to ask. He can be so naive sometimes too. But he's smarter than he looks, and I believe that is why L wanted us to be together for this case. Not because he was a protector.

"It's sad." I finally stopped. I think it's time to at speak a little of what's on my mind "To think that someone could be so cruel..."

"People who are into drugs do dangerous things, and sometimes their behavior can change along with it. No, not even sometimes." Matsuda shook his head.

"Why do people kill? What pushes them over that edge?" I asked quietly, thinking of my brother, thinking of our newest victim who had a fiancé, thinking of so many families that had lost their loved ones to these disarranged people.

"If we knew that, we might be able to stop more crimes from happening," Matsuda replied. "We should go back, we won't find anything there."

"Let's just walk." I pushed on forward, ignoring his pleading that it wasn't safe down here. Of course it wasn't safe, but it wasn't a danger thrill I was seeking. I was trying my best to see with my own eyes what the victim had seen. The grimy road, the dark walls, the smell of trash, the constant fear of someone jumping out behind one of the turns.

I stopped. The alleyway came to an end and the only way out was to turn. I was quite sure that there couldn't be a drug dealing here. The alleyway was too open. Any passerby could see. This…didn't make sense. How could these people leave…without going through the store? The alleyway in between the stores wasn't narrow enough for a dealing either. They would have had to do it somewhere inside the building, not outside. It was too open and the area wasn't well known for criminal activity. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, I don't like walking in alleyways, but I felt very comfortable in walking this one. I didn't once touch my gun in fear. I know now. This alleyway is used too often. It's not in a crime ridden place….

But what if that was the beauty? Too open, but…not too open. There were walls and other alleyways connected to this one. What if the victim had followed, just like I'm following, the ghost steps she had made a long time ago? What if I missed…the alleyway where it led to a shady place? I merely went forward, I never made any foreign turns.

"This isn't where the dealing took place, but we're on the right track. We won't get anywhere unless we continue to follow the maze…" But did I want to? There was really no point. I had a victim who was lying in the morgue, begging with her dead body to find the killer who did this to her and the other woman. I had N, no, L trying to search up leads.

This was a lead.

This was enough.

I turn to Matsuda. "Let's go," I told him. "I think L might have a lead for us by now. And we can report this to him. It may work."

"Yeah, let's," Matsuda said, looking relieved. I couldn't blame him. Had this been a dangerous alleyway, I would be jittery too.

We arrived back at the office. Clicking of the keyboards filled the room, and slight conversation broke the constant rhythm of the fingers. I relaxed in my chair, looking up at the ceiling. I don't think the manager was the killer. Probably just a drug dealer, but what if he was connected to the killer? It wasn't often an assassin would turn out to be a murderer, but it wasn't often when a drug dealer could hire one off the streets.

I had to wait until L made his report to give mine. Aizwa and Mogi were discussing connections. I'm trying to listen in, but their words are too muffled. I don't bother; I never had the knack of reading lips. My brother knew how. He knew a lot of things. Sometimes, I wish he was in my place right now. But if he really was Kira…then I wouldn't really want him here right now. But if he was innocent, and there wasn't a public announcement of Kira caught…then…yes…I would like him to be here instead of me.

But I know that I wouldn't. I would be working alongside my brother if this was to happen. I'm quite sure Mello made sure of it too. He was quite the irresponsible one. I was supposed to catch him. I was supposed to make sure that he knew what torture felt like. I was supposed to keep him locked in the dark, make him feel fear. But what scared him? Nothing. He was his own worst enemy; I could never top that. In a way, I hate Mello. It's obvious. But in another way, he opened my eyes. I was naive when I was younger. I thought that nothing could touch me since my father was a police officer and my brother was about to go into college…well…already a highly respected detective.

"You've been staring out in space for quite a while now." Ide came by. "What are you thinking about?"

"Sorry, I should be working," I murmured and I got myself close up to the desk. I bowed my head and was about to start writing, maybe searching with brand new ideas…when Ide gently covered the paper with his arm. I looked up at him. "Is there something the matter?"

"You would talk to one of us….if something is bothering you…right?" he asked me.

They want me to promise. They want me to open my heart to them. Oh, I opened my heart to someone else, and since he's gone, I really can't ask for his opinion. I couldn't even get myself to even try to make new friends. Just work, and search, and hope.

"Of course," I lied through my teeth. They don't care. It was reassurance enough. Ide pulls himself away and walks off. I watch him leave and sit back down at his desk, already immersed in his work.

And already I'm thinking of my brother, whom I would tell everything. I'm thinking of an enemy I had made, and a friend.

It was only a few hours later when L came on the screen. He doesn't go first. "Did anyone find anything?" was the first thing that came out his mouth.

So far, nothing.

I stand up. "I went over to the victim's workplace and talked to her co-worker. Apparently the victim had followed the manager out into one of the alleyways behind the shop and saw him dealing drugs, or at least that is what the co-worker suspects. She was eavesdropping on the conversation and wasn't quite sure if that's even what happened and why they were arguing."

"The manger may be a good suspect to go on…" L said thoughtfully. "Have you questioned him?"

"He hasn't been in work for a good while," I admitted, "So no, sorry."

"That is most suspicious," L commented. I have a feeling that he was going to put in his own security cameras in the store to see if he could catch anything. "Unfortunately, we still have only this victim to go on, and the others from the past."

"He may already be on the move," I commented, "Or even his victim and we still don't have a clue of who it may be."

"Or maybe we do. I would like to check that the manager you said is truly dealing drugs. Otherwise, I think we're either dealing with the real victim, or someone who knows a bit too much about this case to be left alive," L said thoughtfully. "I'll be putting out warnings to airports, and other areas of traffic. Also keep a good look out. Bring him in when you see him. Don't hesitate."

"And if the manager truly is into drug dealing and not in any shape or form involved with this case?" I prompted. "Where does that leave us?"

"It may bring us closer, or farther. We shall see. Well then." And the screen turned black.

I'm left wondering if we'll be stuck, and whether or not I should pretend to quit the Task Force and model myself as a successful business owner. I'm scared to offer myself up; too frightened to make a hostage out of myself. I go home that night, restless. For the first time in many days, I fall asleep and surprisingly no nightmares plague me.


	6. Shaky Memories

**Lynx: I wanted to give my readers some insight about how Sayu sees Mello. Next chapter, the case gets harder and Near has to decide quickly on what plan of action they're going to use. Espcially when the targetted is closer than they want to admit.**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own death note nor do I make any profit from them. _  
**

Chapter Six: Shaky Memories

_I remember the night when Mello kidnapped me. I was in the back of a delivery truck, watched over by his men. Duct tape was over my mouth and my hands were bound behind my back. I was so terrified. I wanted to scream, to cry, but my body didn't obey any of these demands. I was too scared, too numb. How sad is it that I had strolled around as if I was protected by a badge and an older brother who was never home?_

_I'll never forget it when we reached the hideout and they pushed me right in front of the blond leader. He was chomping down on chocolate, his eyes wide like a bird's. His grin was feral, as if he found the most exciting prey. He said something to his guards, in English obviously. I was so horrible in second languages, and even if I had understood, my brain was foggy._

_I remember when he pushed me in front of the T.V, just to take a picture. I was being held for ransom, I knew that much. But why? I never understood that. Why was I here?_

_The tape went off my mouth as quick as lightning. I let out a scream, it hurt so much. I was shaking, I was scared. I was afraid that he was going to do something more than just that. Rape, torture, anything at all._

_"You have an older brother, don't you?"_

_I was shocked. I kept my mouth shut. If this had something to do with Light, then I would gladly die with pain and without peace. This was my older brother. This guy, this blonde, would never do anything to him. I wasn't going to put my brother in his way._

_"And parents," he mused._

_It took me awhile to realize that I could understand exactly what he was saying because he was speaking in Japanese. All the other goons that were surrounding us gave me the dirtiest, coldest looks they could muster; yet I was very sure not any of them understood what was going on. It gave me only a little comfort._

_"It must be nice to have people like them worry about you."_

_I turned towards the leader. He was no longer looking at me. Instead he was looking towards the side. "You're also very loyal. You won't say a word, I know that much. You remind me of a friend I left behind."_

_It was hard for me to even believe that he had a friend. Maybe it wasn't much of a friend, but someone that he just kicked around. Maybe it was just someone that he thought of as a friend, but the other didn't see it as so. Maybe, just maybe, he had a life before this. But from what my father always lectured at the table, usually those that turn to crime did crime when they were younger. I wasn't about to put any words into this._

_"It's fine."_

_What was fine?_

_"You won't talk."_

_Hell no I won't._

_"But you will one day. Silence kills us all."_

It's been forever since I had a dream that involved Mello in it. Usually my dreams involved blood, yelling, laughter, the plane that blew up, and then the killing of Takada and himself. I never once had a dream of that conversation in a very long time. It was probably the reason why I woke up, both rested and afraid. My heart raced in my chest.

I slept through the morning. I knew that I wouldn't make it into work. They probably don't care. For all they knew, I had another flashback and rendered myself useless. I pushed the covers off of me and drew the curtains. The sun easily went through the glass and coated the room with its bright rays.

I opened the window and fresh air hit me in the face. I breathed in, letting my lungs fill with the oxygen I so desperately needed. I breathed out, listening to the pounding of my heart and willing it to calm down. Silence kills us all. Mello had really torn me apart with that sentence, for that was when I started talking to him. Only when we were alone.

I looked at my wrist. I could feel the ropes against them. I know in my head that they're not there, but my body could feel them as if they were just placed on. My lips felt glued together, as if I really did have tape over them. I was frightened, just as I was that long time ago. But with mental discipline, I had to remind myself that I was free.

I lied to myself often about being free. I know that I'm not. I'm not free because in the shadows of my past there's a killer that murdered my brother and my father and Mello. In the darkness of my heart, I know deep down that Mello had captured my soul, and I know that he took it down in his grave.

I'm not saying that I loved him. How can I? He took everything away from me. He took my innocence, my soul, my heart. He made me doubt everyone around me; Made me see monsters in every corner, made me distrust my brother and even my own father. Oh yes, I knew that my father was in contact with Mello. I wish I could blame him for my father's death, but I'm unable to. Maybe it's because I don't want to believe it, or maybe because I know Kira had something to do with it.

I once said that the clerk who worked at the latest victim's shop was naive. But I think I'm the one that's even more so. I believed everything with a pure heart, and now I can't even believe anything without solid evidence in front of me. A girl's supposed to fall in love and get married. My mother always lectured me about that. Yet, I took the path less traveled by. Not for revenge. I'm not so stupid. But for curiosity. For regret.

The wind's making me think too much. I push myself away and easily walk to my office where everything related to Kira is tossed and strewn everywhere. For once, I don't move to my table to sit down and ponder. For once, I don't look at photographs I have memorized, for newspaper clipings that don't give me anything but praise and doubts about Kira's reign.

For once I just stand, feeling the chaos all around me.

This is what Kira did to my family; bring chaos. I could suddenly see blood splattered against the walls, the papers now bodies. I blink and it's gone. It leaves me unnerved, but I have to remind myself that it was just a flashback. Nothing more or less. I'm terrified to move another step. I'm afraid of this room. It's nothing but death and the idea of a god.

Mello wanted to be in first place over someone. I remember him bitching about it constantly. I remember him swearing to me that he'd find Kira and bring him down. He swore it and swore it often enough. It made me think and reason that Mello knew exactly who Kira was.

I just was never brave enough to ask. I remember when my father came and got me, giving them a notebook. Was it filled with top secret information? It couldn't be, for the man wrote something in that notebook, waited, and confirmed it was real.

Now I have a reason to suspect that the notebook was the reason for my kidnapping. A notebook of death. Funny that the police had it. It only placed further suspicion on my brother, even though I wish it wasn't true. But if Light was innocent, then I'll do everything I can to prove it. If he wasn't…at least I'll gain the knowledge as to why he wanted to turn into the very thing he always wanted to fight against.

My phone rings and I numbly go back into my room where it's charging. "Hello?"

"Sayu! You sound sick. Is everything alright?"

Good old Matusda. "I'm fine. Sorry that I overslept. Do you need me?"

"No. I think it's best that you stay home. Do you mind if I come over?" Matsuda asked.

He loves me. He adores me. I never understood as to why he does, but I can tell that he's always going to be like that…even if he's twice or three times my age. I chuckle softly. Maybe he's the one I need. Not to love, no. I don't think I'll ever be ready for that. But to talk to. To get these memories off my chest and into someone else. Someone who saw my brother's death.

"I don't mind," I answered. "Come over when you want."

"I really hope that you're as fine as you say you are. You sound as if you're emotionless. Don't go down that road. We need you more than you think we do," Matusda tells me before we hang up.

I smile softly. The memories are again dormant in my heart. My mind barricades them. I don't think I'll talk to him about it after all. I think a good laugh is all I need at the moment.


	7. Close to the Cigar

**Lynx: Thank you to the wonderful Practically Venomous for betaing this chapter!**

Chapter Seven: Close to the Cigar

I was called in to an empty and private office. After a day of rest, I came back to nothing but people worrying about me. L had asked me for my presence, privately, and of course, many objected. I just shrugged. I had a feeling he was going to discuss that my illness was a liability and that I should stand down and leave the case; which I was going to refuse to do. I was tired of being treated like a doll.

The office looked more like an interrogation room. A portable table was in the middle as well as a metal folded up chair, which I unfolded and sat upon. There were two cameras staring down at me, and I knew there were two others behind me. I was sure that there were more than just those. L was always thorough.

I waited a moment when I heard a quiet voice. "Good morning, Yagami-san."

"L." I nodded my head. "Good morning."

There was a long pause. "Mello always was rash," He finally stated. My body jerked and my eyes narrowed. Why did he bring up that name? There was another pause. "And judging from the way your reacted, I can assume safely that he affected you."

"He kidnapped me. You tell me how that doesn't affect someone and I'll admit I'm crazy," I snapped.

"I didn't mean to offend you." There was no apology in his voice, and I wasn't about to demand one from him. We were in tensed silence. Perhaps he didn't feel it. "I wanted to talk to you privately; I know that you've been studying the Kira case."

"And what do you have for proof?" I asked. I had turned off the cameras. I knew how to get into the security room and erase any tapes if I forgot one or so. There shouldn't be anything tracing me to a crime.

"You're the only witness to Matt Jeevas and Misa Aname's wedding." I opened my mouth to tell him that it had nothing to do with the Kira case. "Matt's well known for running his mouth. I'm also sure that Matt helped you in the beginning, because most of the information couldn't be accessed by file."

I snapped my mouth shut. "Your point?" I asked coldly.

"Also I noticed that some of the tapes from security are blank or they'd been turned off and turned back on after a number of minutes. Only…enough to fill your breaks." There was a hint of smugness. "I'm surprised that you covered your tracks so well."

I couldn't defend myself from any of these accusations. I merely narrowed my eyes and firmly kept my mouth closed. I don't know if we had a staring contest, if Near was waiting for me to say anything, or if I was waiting for more information that he had about my activities.

"You're good, Near," I finally said, admitting that I knew his real name and also knew that he was L's successor. Only few people knew that information and I had a feeling that he wasn't at all shocked to know that I knew it. We both knew that Matsuda would be the one that told me. If he thought Matt ran his mouth, Matsuada was worse.

"You're no genius," Near said after a while. "If anyone had been looking, it would be considered an amateur's attempt at sneaking around. How far are you in cracking the case?"

"The case is already cracked," I answered. "You're the one that solved it along with L, Matt, and Mello." Matt had lost his life. Misa had lost her husband and will to go on. Mello had died and I gained the inspiration to breathe again. L…I don't know anything about him besides it was the name of a famous detective. I don't know how close he was to closing the case before he died.

"You blame me," Near commented. "You always did seem sour towards me."

"There's nothing I blame you for." I leaned back against the chair. "I'm trying to figure out who my brother was and why he turned into the criminal he was. If he was innocent, I will find out."

"You want to keep hoping that your brother was framed."

"I gave up on hope a long time ago, Near," I said stiffly. "My brother was Kira. If it's true, then my father died in the arms of a criminal, and I was in danger of being killed in my own house, in my own bed, by my own kin."

"One would consider it lucky that you're still alive. Some of the Kira worshippers may look towards you as a goddess of death as well." Near sounded amused.

I didn't see anything amusing about it. I stood up. "I'm a detective. I'm a part of Heartbreaker Case. You're wasting my time and I bet another female is dead on the ground."

"For ten hours actually," Near said, "I was the one that was elected to tell you."

My heart thudded. "So you brought me in here to infuriate me and then tell me that there's been a death! Goddamn it, Near! I'm starting to understand why Mello wanted to beat you!"

Near ignored me. "Does the name….Yuri sound familiar to you?"

Light's girlfriend before he became Kira. Yuri had been such a good friend to me. I immediately sat down, my head spinning and heart beating. "Was she the real target?" I whispered. "Are we too late?"

"No, but I can safely assume that you may want to keep your guard up. His MO changed again. Yuri's body was found outside an apartment. Her heart was in the trash." My stomach turned. I could imagine her blood on the ground, her body laying helplessly with wide-eyes that were blank without life.

"He's losing his touch," I finally had a good enough grip on myself to say something. "You think he's close?"

"Close to the real target? Yes. I'm getting names of who Yuri saw last. If I find anyone who was common with the others, then we'll be able to take him down." Near commented, "I'm sorry about your friend."

I merely nodded, folded the chair, and walked out of the room and straight into the bathroom. My stomach couldn't handle it and my mind was torturing me with thoughts of what Yuri must have gone through. I couldn't wait until that damn bastard was behind bars.

I decided to work overtime. I stayed at my desk as I looked through newspapers that were talking about a new victim. The news was playing on my desktop, softly talking about the latest incident that the Heartbreaker had created. Many of the members of the small task-force had decided to go home and enjoy life. Matsuda and Yamato were the only ones that occupied the office with me, along with Mogi who was also working quietly.

"Sayu, you're going to fall asleep." Matsuda was next to me. His eyes were filled with concern and his hand was at my chair and another was on my desk. He was looking at the piles of newspapers that I had stacked and the news I had playing. "It's been a rough day, why don't you take a break?"

"No, I'm fine." I gave Matsuda a smile. His eyes flashed concern, worry, then acceptance. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to get me to leave. I looked back at my work. If anyone had been affected by Light's death, it was him. I was starting to think that if my brother had been the one who was Kira, I think Matsuda was the one who felt guilty that he didn't realize it.

Matsuda liked my brother. Everyone loved Light. We were blinded and I couldn't blame any one of them. I put my pencil down. I had been circling every article that had anything about Yuri or the Heartbreaker. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the glass walls that were around us. The world could look in and see busy workers, and we could look out and wish that we were the ones walking around; walking away from this gore.

I remember when I finished my time at the academy and in the police force, climbing the ranks as fast as I could. I remember how harsh I was to those that broke even the tiniest law. I remember when I solved my first case and how I treated the criminal. I remembered I told him that he was lucky that Kira was no longer around. I wasn't allowed to interrogate anymore because of my threatening statement. I had to admit when I got back to my apartment, I laughed.

I laughed at my stupidity, at how my feelings compelled me to be a Kira supporter for just that one moment, and how I regretted it. But, it didn't stop me from thinking it. In a way, if Kira were still around, I think my brother would be around too; especially if he was Kira.

"You spacing out isn't convincing me that you're fine," Matsuda said. I didn't realize that he was back at his desk. I looked over to my side and saw that he was writing something down on a notepad.

"You sound like my shrink." I smiled fondly. She had been a good one. She taught me many things about myself, and I opened many doors with her. Without her, I don't think I would be able to handle standing on my own two feet. I don't think I would be able to handle Misa's suicide. I don't think I could handle being a police officer, or a detective.

"Better a shrink than a parent." Matsuda frowned as he looked up. "Then again I do like children."

Yamato snickered and Mogi's lips curled into a smile. I had to bite back a grin myself. "You say the strangest things," I told him, laughter crept into my voice.

Matsuda looked offended. "How is that saying something strange?"

"Take it out of context and you sound like a pedophile," Yamato pointed out. I had to clap my hand across my mouth to hide my laugh. I glanced over at Mogi whose shoulders were shaking slightly.

Matsuda looked horrified. "Yamato! That's disturbing!"

He held his hands up. "You're the one that said it. I merely pointed it out."

"My god." Matsuda placed both hands on his face.

"Also," I couldn't help pointing out, "indirectly you called me a child."

It was so easy to make Matsuda bang his head on the desk. He grumbled something that I couldn't understand, but it sent Yamato into hysterics. I shook my head, amused and went back to the newspapers, my mind clear.

The news lady said something and I looked up. They were showing the location of where Yuri's body was found and my face paled. I turned it up, just a bit so that no one else would be disturbed. My heart stopped completely and my blood ran cold. Yuri had lived in the same apartment as I lived.


End file.
